Watching the wind blow through the weeds (ok - there is a lot of grass out there - but so many weeds.  It would make my dad crazy!), I realize that the season is changing again. 
Been an interesting couple of weeks for me.  The girls have been busy hanging out with friends, playing soccer and volleyball.  Laying around all day, reading, playing computer games, snuggling with their cats, and enjoying the warm CO days. I really like that.
Fall already?  School - still home schooling this year.  Sarah has decided to play on the middle school's eighth grade volleyball team, and I have decided to help coach. Lord, help us both!......  So far she is having a good time.  Getting to know some of the girls - more than just their names.  She is working hard and trying her best.  I am very proud of her!  So far, I'm having fun too. Less stress and less of a time commitment than high school ball. It is fun to watch the kids at the developmental level of the game.  They are so excited to be there!  Truth be told though - I would much rather just play than coach.  (I try to get in on some of the drills - they are just so fun!)
Bekah is playing soccer and really enjoying being on the field again. At least those are her words.
She will fill in on the volleyball court if we need an extra for pairing up.  I think she will enjoy that.
Being a mom of a teenager and a pre-teen has tested me in lots of ways this summer.  Emotions run high here - not just theirs.  I'm still a girl, and sometimes a very selfish, demanding one at that!  I have found some patterns that my kids fall into.  Bekah can do really well with lots of people, for at least a couple days.  When she has had enough - she gives very clear signs.  Dark circles under the eyes, cries about almost anything, and gets very dramatic.  Can fall asleep standing up if need be.  Hard to believe???
Sarah - she is a fringe player.  Will be in the thick of things every now and then, but does not force herself on anyone. Prefers her own time and her own way.  I can always tell when she is exhausted, because she gets so worked up, that she can't sleep.  Fights it.  Can always count on her to come into my room, while we are asleep, and start discussing deep, emotional things.  "Huh??  Sarah, go to bed,"  is often my response to her.  Not the best time for me to be expounding wisdom.

With the new season starting - I am hoping some new things start happening in me too.  I need to get my feet under me again as far as joy in God's plan for my life - with life in general. 
So many things unanswered; unsettled.  There is not a lack of joy in my life.  On the contrary - there is so much I find joy in - my Savior, my Jim, my girls, my family, my friends, living in CO. Lots of things I do bring me joy.  But there is still a "void".  I don't think it is all from Steve's death - though some of it certainly is.  Maybe that event just opened my eyes and heart to hurt I have never experienced before.  Whatever the cause - it becomes heavy for me.  I know I am supposed to leave it at the cross - and I do!!!  But I feel like I am wondering.  Seeking something from God, but not able to put my finger on what it is.  Anyone else ever feel that way?
Contentment maybe?  Not sure - but still I will seek Him - for where else does wisdom come from?  And anyways, He know what I'm looking for - I am confident of that!

Think I will go out and pull some weeds before volleyball and soccer.  Progress can be made a little patch at a time. :)