New Week

It's the first day in a long time that hasn't started with tears for me.  God's mercies are new every day.
Last week was a better week than the one before.  I guess that is a good trend...
Church seems to be a difficult place to be - simply because of all the outpouring of love for us there.  It's just emotional.  Most of the time, I do pretty well, until I actually see someone......

On Friday PM, we had a great Bible study on the first chapter of James.  We discussed joy, endurance, steadfastness, and perseverance in trials.  Timely!  So many things struck me, but one of the most obvious was found in verse 4.  My version says, "And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
I would really like to get to the other side of this grief.  Having never experienced anything like this before, I don't know if there is another side.  I certainly can't see one from where I am right now.  I take this verse to mean, that I need to let God do his perfect and complete work in this often surreal and painful situation.  I shouldn't rush through it.  I need to move at God's pace, experience this loss, so that when I do emerge from this dark time, His work in me will be complete.  
Not sure how I feel about that - however, God didn't ask my opinion prior to all this happening.  It's very difficult for me to drive up Steve and Donna's road.  Seeing Donna hurt so.  Realizing the void that has been left in my family, (immediate, and with my brother Bill, mom and dad), and knowing how surreal this situation is for Steve and Donna's kids.  I fully accept God's sovereignty.  I also know that He alone is the one who can make anything good come from this.  Not only good, but he is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine.
I don't know how to attach music to the blog.  If you have I Tunes, look up Andrew Peterson.  Steve shared this music with me.  He has an album called Clear to Venus.  I think the song is called "Let Me Sing" (track #4).  The song has been the cry of my heart, and reminds me that I can praise God because of the grace by which I'm saved (and my brother was saved).  The LORD gives and takes away.  Blessed be the name of the LORD.  Thank you for your notes, prayers, and love!